"But officer," the man began, "I can explain."
"Just be quiet," snapped the officer. "I'm
going to let you cool
your heels in jail until the chief gets
back."
"But, officer, I just wanted to say--,"
"I said to keep quiet! You're going to jail!"
A few hours later the officer looked in
on his prisoner and said,
"Lucky for you that the chief's at his
daughter's wedding.
He'll be in a good mood when he gets back."
"Don't count on it," answered the fellow
in the cell.
"I'm the groom."
...............................................................................................................
Officer's First Patrol
A rookie police officer was assigned to ride in a cruiser with an experienced
partner.
A call came over the car's radio telling
them to disperse some people who were loitering.
The officers drove to the street and observed a small crowd standing on
a corner.
The rookie rolled down his window and
said, "Let's get off the corner."
No one moved, so he barked again, "Let's get off the corner!"
Intimidated, the group of people
began to leave, casting puzzled glances in his direction.
Proud of his first official act,
the young policeman turned to his partner and asked,
"Well, how did I do?"
"Pretty good," replied the veteran, "especially since this was a bus stop."
...........................................................................................................................
The (crazy) language of Shakespeare!!
La langue (folle) de Shakespeare
You may like this little treatise on the lovely language we share and commonly use.
The bandage was wound around the
wound.
The soldier decided to desert his dessert
in the desert.
I did not object to the object.
There was a row among the oarsmen about
how to row.
I shed a tear in the shed.
How can I intimate this to my most intimate
friend.
There is no egg in an eggplant, no ham
in a hamburger and neither apple nor pine in a pineapple.
English muffins were not invented in England
nor French fries in France.
Sweetmeats are candies, while sweetbreads,
which are not sweet, are meat.
Quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings
are square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.
The plural of tooth is teeth, so why isn't
the plural of booth beeth?
One mouse, four mice, hence one
house four hice?
One goose, two geese, so one moose,
two meese?
In what other language do people recite
at a play and play at a recital ?
How can a slim chance and a fat chance
be the same,
while a wise man and a wise guy are the
opposite?
You surely have to marvel at the unique
lunacy of a language
in which your house can burn up while
it burns down,
in which you fill in a form by filling
it out
and in which an alarm goes off by going
on!
And so on... ad absurdum.