A man is driving down a road, and a woman is
driving down the same road from the opposite direction.
As they pass each other, the woman leans out the window and yells, "PIG!"
.
The man immediately leans out his window and yells, "Bi - - - !"
.
They each continue on their way, and as the man rounds the next curve,
he crashes into a huge pig in the middle of the road.
.
(If only men would listen!)

 At long last, here are some NEW Barbie dolls to coincide with her
and OUR aging gracefully. These are a bit more realistic...
.
 1. Bifocals Barbie. Comes with her own set of blended-lens fashion frames
in six wild colors (half-frames too!), neck chain and large-print editions
of Vogue and Martha Stewart Living.
.
 2. Hot Flash Barbie. Press Barbie's bellybutton and watch her face turn
beet red while tiny drops of perspiration appear on her forehead.
Comes with handheld fan and tiny tissues.
.
 3. Facial Hair Barbie. As Barbie's hormone levels shift, see her whiskers grow.
Available with teensy tweezers and magnifying mirror.

 4. Flabby Arms Barbie. Hide Barbie's droopy triceps with these new,
roomier-sleeved gowns. Good news on the tummy front, two muumuus with
tummy-support panels are included.
.
 5. Bunion Barbie. Years of disco dancing in stiletto heels have definitely
taken their toll on Barbie's dainty arched feet. Soothe her sores with the
pumice stone and plasters, then slip on soft terry mules.
.
 6. No-More-Wrinkles Barbie. Erase those pesky crow's-feet and lip lines
with a tube of Skin Sparkle-Spackle, from Barbie's own line
of exclusive age-blasting cosmetics.
.
 7. Soccer Mom Barbie. All that experience as a cheerleader is really paying
off as Barbie dusts off her old high school megaphone to root for Babs and
Ken, Jr. Comes with minivan in robin-egg blue or white and cooler
filled with doughnut holes and fruit punch.
.
 8. Mid-life Crisis Barbie. It's time to ditch Ken. Barbie needs a change,
 and Alonzo(her personal trainer) is just what the doctor ordered, along with
Prozac. They're hopping in her new red Miata and heading for the Napa Valley
to open a B&B. Includes a real tape of "Breaking Up Is Hard to Do."
.
 9. Divorced Barbie. Sells for $199.99. Comes with Ken's house,
Ken's car, and Ken's boat.
.
 10. Recovery Barbie. Too many parties have finally caught up with the
ultimate party girl. Now she does Twelve Steps instead of dance steps.
Clean and sober, she's going to meetings religiously.
Come with a little copy of
The Big Book and a six-pack of Diet Coke.
.
 11. Post-Menopausal Barbie. This Barbie wets her pants when she sneezes,
forgets where she puts things, and cries a lot. She is sick and tired of Ken
sitting on the couch watching the tube, clicking through the channels.
Comes with Depends and Kleenex.
As a bonus this year, the book "Getting In Touch
with Your Inner Self" is included.
.