Various         Divers
The Doctors

An Israeli doctor says "Medicine in my country 
 is so advanced that we can take a kidney out of one 
 man, put it in another, and have him looking for work 
in six weeks." 
. 
 A German doctor says "That is nothing, we can take a 
 lung out of one person, put it in another, and have 
 him looking for work in four weeks." 
. 
 A Russian doctor says " In my country, medicine 
 is so advanced that we can take half a heart out of 
 one person, put it in another, and have them both 
 looking for work in two weeks." 
. 
 The American doctor, not to be outdone, says 
 "You guys are way behind, we just took a man with no 
 brain out of Texas, put him in the White House, and 
 now half the country is looking for work." 
.
 
Tight Shoes

A man walks into a shoe store, 
and tries on a pair of shoes.
"How do they feel?" asks the sales clerk. 
"Well they feel a bit tight," replies the man. 
The assistant promptly bends down and has a look at the shoes and at the man's feet.
"Try pulling the tongue out," the clerk says. 
.
"Well, theyth sthill feelth a bith tighth." 
.
 
     My Dad

         Three boys were playing and were bragging about their fathers. 
The first boy said:
      My dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper and calls it a poem.
He gets $50 for it." 
.
        Second boy said, 
"That's nothing! My dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a song
and he gets $100 for it." 
.
        The third boy then said to the first two: 
"I got you both beat. 
My dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, calls it a sermon and it takes eight people to collect all the money!" 
    .
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