Le monde selon la doctrine de Zen
. Do not walk behind me,
for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead
of me, for I may not follow.
Do not walk beside me, either.
Just leave me the hell alone.
The journey of a thousand
miles begins
with a broken fan belt and
a leaky tire.
It's always darkest
before dawn.
So if you're going to steal
your neighbour's newspaper,
that's the time to do it.
Don't be irreplaceable.
If you can't be replaced,
you can't be promoted.
No one is listening until you make a mistake.
Always remember you're
unique.
Just like everyone else.
Never test the depth of the water with both feet.
It may be that your
sole purpose in life
is simply to serve as a
warning to others.
It is far more impressive
when others discover
your good qualities without
your help.
If you think nobody
cares if you're alive,
try missing a couple of
car payments.
Before you criticize
someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes.
That way, when you criticize
them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.
If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.
Give a man a fish and
he will eat for a day.
Teach him how to fish,
and he will sit in a boat
& drink beer all day.
If you lend someone
$20, and never see that person again,
it was probably worth it.
Don't squat with your spurs on.
If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.
If you drink, don't park; accidents cause people.
Some days you are the
bug,
some days you are the windshield.
Good judgment comes
from bad experience,
and a lot of that comes
from bad judgment.
The quickest way to
double your money
is to fold it in half and
put it back in your pocket.
Timing has an awful lot to do with the outcome of a rain dance.
A closed mouth gathers no foot.
Duct tape is like the
force.
It has a light side &
a dark side, and
it holds the universe together.
There are two theories
to arguing with women.
Neither one works.
Generally speaking,
you aren't learning much
when your mouth is moving.
Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it
Never miss a good chance to shut up.
We are born naked,
wet, and hungry.
Then things get worse